Night Time, Quiet Time

You know when it’s the certain time of night where everyone else is asleep and you’re the only one awake? Yeah that’s me tonight. It’s kinda scary but surreal at the same time too. Everywhere is deathly quiet but crazy loud at the same time, do you know what I mean?

I found the image above on the internet and it’s deathly beautiful, it kind of describes the night-time peace perfectly don’t you think? The scary part of it is that everywhere in the house is silent – you could hear a pin drop – aside from the cats and dog snoring that is. It’s quite a quiet night tonight, the rain has finally stopped (it has been raining all day but what else do you expect in England), the wind is blowing softy swaying the trees and bushes making a sweet lullaby in a way. It’s incredibly relaxing hearing the melody that different sounds together make. OK to clarify the sounds I mean are the soft wind blowing and the snoozing animals (unless they are incredibly loud that is). By no means do I mean gale force winds and hearing owls screech, the foxes or badgers screaming and doors banging – I’ve been there it’s more like a nightmare then a relaxing melody.

It’s also creepy when it’s silent but you hear the garden gates creaking open or when you hear hushed voices nearby. The sudden banging of car doors and the neighbours trying to get in the house fumbling with keys, you start to think is it really the neighbours trying to get into their house or has someone stolen keys and doesn’t know which one it is?

I always hated sleeping over at my sister’s flat. She lived right in the city centre and was on the ground floor. You would hear drunk people staggering by or the neighbours loudly trying to get up the stairs. I always waited to make sure that whoever opened the front door was going upstairs and not trying to break in to us. My dogs were not with us they were back guarding the farm at night (which just meant barking at every noise and animal they heard and saw).

It was mixed feelings at the farm, the only time it would be silent at night was if my dad was away. I could still hear the animals at night, the dogs barking, the sheep bleating, the horses snorting, the owls screeching and on the nights that made you shudder the foxes screaming. Thankfully the foxes den was by the river so it was a few fields away but sometimes when they were out hunting near us the wind would blow it our way, as if sending out a warning to everyone else that the foxes were on the move.

But the house itself was deathly quiet you could hear a pin drop even with all the noise outside it seemed like it just didn’t reach inside the house – not fully, you could hear the noise for sure but the atmosphere was as if there was nothing there just an empty house on its own no animals to try to drown it out.

For a long time before when I had a close bond with my father, the atmosphere nearly drowned me it scared me that it could be so still and silent and as if no one was there even though I still was. It made you feel as if you didn’t exist or even worse as if it was on guard that someone had come in and the house was trying to warn you, the creaky stairs weren’t creaking because they were old but because someone was walking up them and they were trying to warn you. And all you can do is hide under the bed covers pretending to be asleep so that when you heard your door slightly creak, you would hold you breath and close your eyes counting to one hundred praying that it was just your imagination running wild again. Eventually you drift off into a troubled sleep tossing and turning all night to find in the morning that it was all in your head, again.

In more recent times the atmosphere changed when I was on my own, it was like the house was rejoicing with me and not against me. The stillness changed and wasn’t uncomfortable but a welcomed feeling like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Don’t get me wrong the foxes still creeped me out but instead of the house being a dungeon it was like a warm hug that was there to comfort me instead of tear me down.

At my grandparents it was still again another feeling. At night-time you could hear the neighbours coming back from nights out together, the wind softly (or loudly depending on the night) blowing the trees outside, my grandma loudly snoring and my grandpa watching the TV downstairs, the big grandfather clock downstairs announcing the time and my dog sleeping or chewing a bone next to me (really keeps you awake at night at first when she chews the bone but you get used to it), a feeling of maybe being able to relax, hope of being able to move on.

Yet again at my new house it’s a different atmosphere. Knowing my sister is asleep upstairs with her cats sleeping (and snoring) next to her, hearing the neighbours faintly walk by, my dog snoring nearby sometimes waking up from different sounds she hears or if she just wants to check that I’m OK. It’s definitely a different atmosphere here, it feels free here, relaxing and a lot of weight off of my shoulders. Yes I still have worries but they are not what keeps me up at night anymore. It’s the peaceful serenity and the security of knowing that if anything happens I still have my family and my dog right next to me helping me along the way.